1. In a large skillet (I prefer cast iron) over medium-high heat, warm 1 tbsp of the oil until shimmering. Add the ground beef and taco seasoning, cooking and stirring until the meat is no longer pink, about 8 minutes. Remove the meat to a medium bowl.
2. Put the same skillet back on the stove over medium-high heat again, and add 1 tbsp of oil. Add the cauliflower rice and a generous pinch of sea salt and pepper. Cook and stir until the cauliflower rice is semi-soft but not mushy, about 5 minutes. Remove the cauliflower rice to another bowl.
3. Finally, put the same skillet back on the stove over medium-heat, and add the last 1 tbsp of oil. Add the chopped greens, cooking and stirring until they soften, about 5 mintues.
4. Build your Bitchin' Bowl. Presentation is what makes the Bitchin' Bowl look special...but you can totally just throw everything in the bowl if you want. Add the meat, cauliflower rice, and greens. Then add the fresh tomato, salsa, guacamole, and plantain chips. Garnish with chopped cilantro.